• Emlyn McFarland

Let The Actress Eat Cake


I just ate a cupcake…okay two cupcakes, they were small. As I was eating my delicious chocolate cupcakes with delectable butter cream frosting and delightful colored sprinkles I started thinking about sugar and how everyone is talking about how terrible it is. As I’m chewing I’m thinking “yeah this sugar is really bad for people” chew, chew and swallow. I remembered hearing that word on the street is that sugar is poison, it’s as bad as crack cocaine and we should do away with it. I got very sad. A world without sugar while being a healthier world would be so bleak, tasteless and just no fun. Do I want a longer life, yes, but a longer life with no cake, I think not.

Then I started wondering how many actresses really eat (and digest) cupcakes? Is it possible to be that skinny and perfect and still devour a cupcake like it’s going out of style? After I ate my second cupcake I thought well, maybe they eat one cupcake but they definitely don’t eat two. Does wanting to be an actress mean I shouldn’t be eating cupcakes? If I stopped eating cupcakes would I then become a very successful actress? Is my love of cupcakes and other delicious foodstuffs getting in the way of my acting career? I bet you don’t see any lawyers or school teachers out there wondering if their colleagues indulge in baked goods. Looking a little curvier (and happier) wouldn’t stop them from getting the job and celebrating with a pizza party or an ice cream cake.

But what if that really was the rule? “You can be a successful actress but you can never have another cupcake” Oh god – it would be like Sophie’s Choice. I guess I would chose acting, but good lord I would morn the loss of the cupcakes.

Look, I exercise often and yes I like junk food from time to time but I still try to make sure I get my fruits and veggies, I don’t smoke and I don’t drink very much. I just need some sweet, no pun intended, release in this rigid world of bitter rules and responsibilities or somebody might get hurt.

As of now though, there’s no guarantee that giving up cupcakes is going to cement my success so bring on the poisonous crack cakes – I’m hungry.

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