• Emlyn McFarland

Lonely Day


Trying to be a working actor some days are busier than others. Last week I voiced the character of Kitty Pride in an X-Men graphic novel for a company that turns comic books into audio books. It was a really fun job and I hope to work with them again soon. Wednesday I took a workshop with casting director Amy Gossels, I learned a lot, thank you Amy. I spend a lot of time on the Internet searching for castings to submit to and sometimes I do mailings. I go to tons and tons of auditions – if I booked even half the auditions that I went on I’d be richer than George Clooney – like Oprah money rich. Some days though, are slow and can be a little boring, maybe even a little lonely.

Today after being on the internet all morning I decided I needed to get out of the apartment so I decided to go to the grocery store to buy groceries and cleaning supplies … for the cleaning I was going to do…at some point. I was in the produce department picking out some nectarines, (to make up for the cupcakes I ate last week), when an elderly black man with dark rimmed glasses held together by a band aid at the bridge of the nose turns toward me and says “s’cuse me lady can you help me?” I was caught off guard for a quick second wondering if I thought I worked at the grocery store but then I figured I’d at least see what he wanted so I said yes. He began shaking a bag of lettuce at me and mumbling something that I couldn’t quite make out so I listened a little harder “what can I put with this?” he asked. “Oh you want to make a salad?” I asked “Yeah Yeah Yeah” he said and continued to hold up the bag of shredded lettuce. “Well you could put in cucumbers” I said and pointed to the cucumbers. “COME ON MAN” he sort of half yelled and half laughed, I guess he didn’t like that suggestion – the pressure was on. “What about a tomato?” I asked quickly to try and make up for cucumber my faux pas. “Yeah YEAH” He said happily “Ok yeah, well there are some tomatoes right over…” then he cut me off “I was almost arrested last night,” whoa forget the salad this just got interesting. “I was in my old neighborhood and I got in a fight, they knocked my teeth out” ah, ok, that’s why he was mumbling and hard to understand – the guy had his teeth knocked out and now he just wanted to make a salad. “Oh jeez, you gotta be careful,” I said – knowing that was a stupid response but not really knowing what else to say. “It’s all good I had this…” and he pulled his cane out from his grocery cart “This really comes in handy.”   “Oh wow, well good for you” I said sort of shocked at the words coming out of my mouth – did I just say good for you? “Oh yeah, this isn’t so bad, I really cracked the guy but you know … where can I just get one tomato?” “umm I think there are some single tomatoes over there” but before I could show him where they were he was off and talking to someone else. Hey! What was that? I thought we were in the middle of something here? I thought we were building a rapport. What the heck? Doesn’t he want more than just a tomato on his salad?

#Auditions #funny #actor #comedian #agents #essay #actress #AmyGossels #acting #comedy #showbusiness #castingdirector #voiceover #comedienne

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